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You're going to love it!!!!

Charley

Yom Kippur

Yom Kippur is once again upon us. And I, like so many Jews and non-Jews alike, hate not to eat.

Yom Kippur in Israel is a bit different. Nobody drives. I mean, NOBODY. People walk to synagogue in the middle of the street. Sure, the sidewalks are empty, but you can walk in the middle of the street without getting hit by a car, for chrissakes! That's something to experience! On normal days, you can't even get that guarantee if you're on the sidewalk! Hell, you can't even get that guarantee if you live in a ground floor apartment.

We atone for our sins on Yom Kippur. Compared to our current government, my sins are so miniscule it doesn't even seem justified to fast!

Let's pray next year will be better. Let's pray the Palestinians will wake up and say, "Hey! This murdering stuff ain't getting us anywhere!" Or "Hey, you mean we're starving to death, and Yasser Arafat's wife is getting $100,000 a month spending money?! What's THAT all about." Let's pray Arik Sharon starts caring about all of us that live INSIDE the Green Line. Let's pray the Likud can become honest. Let's pray Labor WAKES UP! Let's pray we can go for more than three weeks without a labor union strike. Let's pray Shinui draws the line somewhere. ANYWHERE!

Well, it's worth a shot. Right?

My next post will be after I get rid of my caffeine withdrawal headache.

Charley

Here We Go Again

Well, the idiotic Arabs just did it again. They blew up a bus on French Hill. And why? Because that's what they do. Let's remember, these are not human beings we're dealing with.

And we'll retaliate. And it won't do any good.

And the world will blame Israel.

Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.

Happy New Year

Every newspaper here has made their New Year predictions, hopes, and dreams. And me, being as inclusive and starved for affection as I am, do not intend to be any different. So, in this year, I have my own predictions.

I predict that there's going to be more than me reading my blog.

I predict that there will be 12 school strikes; 17 government agency strikes; 1 ports strike (that will last most of the year anyway); and a partridge in a pear tree.

I predict SOMEONE from the Likud will tell the truth...about ANYTHING.

I predict SOMEONE from Labor will take a stand...about ANYTHING.

I predict Natan Sharansky will continue to do anything to keep that Volvo of his.

I predict Shinui will keep a campaign promise.

I predict the Yesha (settlement) Council will finally understand the term, "DONE DEAL".

And I predict that despite everything else...and I mean EVERYTHING else...Israel will continue to be the best place in the world to live.

Shana Tova

Charley

Worth Fighting For

So, now the word coming out of the settlements is that they're demanding the soldiers disobey their orders when it comes to evacuation time. And if they obey those orders, we just may have a civil war on our hands.

And who can blame them? I mean, here is a minor section of our population that has been living on the dole for a good long time and now the majority is saying "enough is enough". It would certainly get me mad.

There's a huge uproar because the government is saying they don't have the money to pay municipal workers' salaries. And yet...you don't hear about that happening in the settlements. Down south around Be'er Sheva they don't have enough doctors to care for all the people. That doesn't happen in the settlements.

Ninety-nine percent of the terrorist attacks happen inside the Green Line. Not in the settlements.

Oh...and taxes? Well, they don't pay 'em over there.

So if someone threatens to take all that away from you, you're probably not going to take it lightly.

Well, you know what? I'm tired of it.

Let the games begin.


Charley

Crimes Against Humanity

The headline in today's Haaretz reads: "Rightists Say Evacuation Is A 'Crime Against Humanity'"

So, since we've gotten to the point where we can trivialize the most horrid accusation civilization can think of, usually saved for genocide, I've decided to add some things to the list.

I'm joining the Rightists. What the heck. They're a small minority and yet they seem to be above the law and run circles around every ounce of democracy, so they must have the correct idea. Therefore I'm telling you, and I truly believe it to be true...that...

The last speeding ticket I got is a crime against humanity.

WELL IT'S TRUE!!

And while we're at it...paying forty shekels for a movie is a crime against humanity! And those damn intermissions we have here in the movies. Talk about crimes against humanity!!

Have you ever stood close to an ultra-religious gentleman (Haredi) wearing a long black coat on a hot August day and had to inhale? That smell is definitely a crime against humanity.

Oh! What?! Like I'm the first person to have thought it?

We all have a list. We should all use it. And make sure you list them all as crimes against humanity.

That way we can all be as blatantly stupid as those Rightists. It's fun!

Ask 'em.


Charley

Less Than Human

Terrorists just blew up two busses in Beer Sheva. More innocent people were killed. And please don't tell me about the peace process, and the Palestinian struggle, and how this would all stop if they only had their own state. If you believe that...you're an idiot.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for the Palestinians having their own state. I'm all for leaving Gaza and much of the West Bank. And once this is done, and they have their own Palestine, I'm all for going in there with guns blazing because when they pull a stunt like this after they have their own state, it's one country attacking another country. And then all bets are off.

I hate the term "terrorist". It almost gives it legitimacy. It sounds like a profession. It sounds noble. It sounds powerful. Like having the ability to inflict "terror" in others.

A more appropriate monicker would be "scurvy"... or "slimeball". I'd much rather see the report on Fox News reporting of another Slimeball blowing up a bus full of Jewish people because the Slimeballs hate Jewish people.

The people that are responsible for this...from the planners all the way to anyone who sympathizes with their "cause", are less than human. I'd say they were animals, but (to paraphrase Groucho) that would be unfair to all the other animals.

So, let's not kid ourselves. These things will not stop once the Palestinians have their own country. The reason?

"Because," said the Scorpion to the Frog, "that's what Scorpions do".


Charley Warady